TOW #22 - Opinion: "What I'd Say to My Fat Son"

Illustration by Michael Kuo

Although I have never struggled with the issue myself, being overweight is something that I have seen others been made fun of first-hand. When I was around ten and my younger brother was around seven or eight, I myself would every now and again even tease him about his weight when he used to be a little chubby. He is currently fourteen, actively participates in basketball and track, and has a physicality similar to my own. In his New York Times opinion article titled “What I’d Say to My Fat Son”, freelance writer and musician Joshua Max details his experience as a youth struggling with being overweight, and how he would confront the issue if it were to arise in a son of his.

Almost entirely through personal anecdotes and reflection upon his past, Max talks about how he was teased and bullied by not just his classmates at school, but his own family as well, everyone except for his dad. He claims that while his father preached the idea that it is not one’s body that is important but rather their mind, with all of the negative feedback he received about his weight, this message was one that was very difficult for Max to believe in. He talks about how he went from temporarily losing weight at a “fat camp” only to slowly gain it back later, to his damaging addiction of purging, and ultimately to his embracement of peace. Although he is currently at an average weight, whenever he looks in the mirror now and doesn’t necessarily love what he sees, he doesn’t purge or become dissatisfied, he helps others. Feeds a homeless person or helps shovel snow off of his neighbors’ cars. Relative to if he had a son with a weight issue, he says that he would, “[…] intervene, not conspire to humiliate and torture him.” (Max) He would help teach him the basics of portion control and exercise while simultaneously telling his son to keep his head held high despite the opinions of others.

I suppose a large part of Max’s purpose in writing this article was to deter others from making fun of those who may be overweight, as it can cause serious damage emotionally, mentally, and even worsen their physical issues. Ultimately, I thought that Max was successful by using his own personal story, sharing what worked for him, and what only made things worse.